Reasons Not to Move to Charleston SC in 2021

Want a reason to move to Charleston SC? Look at this!
Charleston, South Carolina

I do not subscribe to the silly notion that permeates a few “local” Charlestonians that “outsiders” should be given reason not to move to Charleston SC. As an outsider myself, I say break out the U-haul.

Charleston is a wonderful city full of wonderful people. And like anywhere else we have our issues. So if you are on the fence, here are 5 reasons not to move to Charleston SC:

1. Charleston is Hot

The heat and humidity can be overwhelming. I overheard a lady today on King Street say, “It is getting hot.” It was cloudy and had just rained, so this lady had no idea what she was talking about.

man wiping the sweat of his mother

I love when you walk out the door and it feels like you just got slapped with a hot, wet towel. But if you aren’t down with hum-id-ity, then I would not move to Charleston SC.

Charleston is also popular. That means it is getting more expensive every day. My apartment building is dying to kick me out so they can raise the rent even more. Hot also costs.

Remember: Charleston is hot 🔥 and Charleston is hot 💰.

2. Charleston Floods

If you are thinking about buying anything on the peninsula in Charleston, maybe think again. Make sure you get your new home inspected during a high tide, a full moon, and a heavy rain storm. All 3 of these things cause flooding downtown.

If anyone knows an Elon Musk-type fella with a few billion dollars and a genius brain, could you ask them to move to Charleston SC and solve this flooding problem?

dawn landscape nature sky

Recently, I had to explain to friends who were in Charleston on vacation that they needed to check the tide before heading downtown. I wish that were a joke. Someone please save our city; hello, Netherlands?

3. Charleston Traffic

This is actually a joke reason not to move to Charleston SC in 2021. Charlestonians THINK we have bad traffic. I was in Boston last month and it took my Uber 45 minutes to drive me 3 miles. I should have walked.

Charleston has some traffic, but it is nothing compared to most places. The Wappoo bridge goes up for one stupid sail boat and there is traffic. I get caught in it every day. The delay lasts for 6 minutes; we will survive.

Let me know about your terrible Charleston traffic experiences in the comments down below. Is this a factor in your decision to move to Charleston SC?

4. Charleston Bugs

I love when people move to Charleston SC, a swamp, and then complain about bugs. Did you think they would see your moving trucks and pack up their bags and go somewhere else?

Mosquitos are terrible in Charleston. No-see-ums are worse. They are torturous and they scoff at most bug sprays. You cannot see them and their bite hurts.

macro photo of a brown mosquito

We also have lots of other bugs in Charleston. Like beggars on King Street, don’t look them in the eye and you’ll be fine.

5. Charleston Stinks

No, I mean it smells. I walk around downtown everyday for exercise and believe me, some areas of Charleston stink.

Pockets of garbage juice line King Street and Market Street like parking meters. The smell of horse rump permeates the historic district. And pluff mud lingers in the air throughout Charleston 24/7. Some folks do not like the smell of pluff mud and those are the only folks who are not welcome here.

I do wish that whoever is in charge, wink* South of Broad, would invest a little money in making Charleston smell better. It isn’t exactly good for our appetite when we have to walk by a puddle of garbage juice on our way to a 5-star dinner.

The Bottom Line: Move to Charleston SC

These 5 reason not to move to Charleston SC are completely ridiculous:

  1. Charleston is Hot
  2. Charleston Floods
  3. Charleston Traffic
  4. Charleston Bugs
  5. Charleston Stinks

You really should move to Charleston as fast as you can. Get here before the Charleston peninsula is completely under water. But then at least you will be able to get a great deal on a historic mansion on Broad Street.

I look forward to seeing you around town.

By, Thomas Cochran
By, Thomas Cochran

Owner of TC Creative, a copywriting service in Charleston SC.

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